Who you calling “Big Nose”?

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Randiest monkey in the world

The noble Proboscis monkey - this one pictured below from Brunei.

There’s gotta be some kind of evolutionary reason, right?  One suggestion for the honker is that the chicks dig it. Really? Hey, what’s that in his right hand? I guess his face horn didn’t cut the mustard, and he’s gotta take care of bidniz his own self. Don’t let your children go near one of these randy bastards.

The Proboscis Monkey has a multi-chamber digestive system in order to deal with leaves and unripe fruit which generates a lot of gas, so pray you don’t end up in an elevator with a troupe of them. They’ll gang rape you whilst farting, wearing their gold medallions and their shirts unbuttoned to the navel. You know… this guy reminds us a lot of a former computer magazine editor (otherwise known as The Lizard Wrangler) that we here at SWL all know and love (cough, splutter…):

Next Month: The second randiest monkey in the world, the Bonobo.